Just Air and Imagination

Is it harder to love something or someone that doesn't exist?
You can wait for a real object or person (although you may never know when they are going to come). Eventually (hopefully), they will come. At least they exist.
But something half created from imagination, although it can take any form that you desire, still isn't truly real. It can never come unless by a miracle...or can it?
Is reality or fantasy more dangerous?
Seeing as I always tend to take everything in the most complex direction possible, I have to wonder if fantasy is more trecherous.
I guess it's just a good way to escape reality- and hope for the perfect model of your imaginings.
But if you set your hopes too high, even for thin air, do you feel the same amount or a greater amount of loss than you would for anything material?

I want so much to be a part of L.M. Montgomery or even Cornelia Funke's world. They weave such brilliant stories that it makes me want to live in a different time. I have a feeling I think far too much of fantasy. And in a world where there is nothing but reality around you, can you help but live in the past and keep your eyes out the window, spinning your own world with the prince Sonrie and customs from the Civil War era?

Well, I suppose only time will tell if too much fantasy is healthy or not for me.

Content

I feel like I'm holding back.
I can't put my feelings into the proper words, even though I want so much to be able to.
I want all those I care so much about to know just how much I care about them, or to let any similar emotion show in my face. But it seems I can never really show it.
I see everywhere that plenty of people have no trouble with this- everything, or most things, are apparent on their face, at least when they want their emotions to be known.
I wonder if I have a difficulty with it because I draw such a defined line between private and public thoughts. They hardly bleed into each other. I keep most things to myself, whether they are small or big problems or cause me little or a plethora of pain. Is it because of this that I feel hesitant to mention most things to anyone?
True, I don't usually have much anyway, but when I do I don't tend to openly share, either.
I'm always shocked to hear people saying that I always seem the most content or the "happiest person". How can I come across that way when I know that I'm really not?
I wish that I wasn't so weak;I want to be stronger, but I feel like I'm just not able to exert all that I really have inside of me.